Transformers 2 and the Conflict in the Middle East

I think that the Middle East issue as of late has not been addressed properly in the TV and Movie industry. This is a serious topic, and even though it might not be the place of the entertainment industry to take a particular side, or for that matter, approach the issue at all, but when and if they do, I feel that it should be a more fair and balanced look at the situation, rather than portraying all Arabs as evil terrorists, Israeli military officers as flamboyant hairstylists, or US troops as opportunists capitalizing on the fall of a regime.

That is why i feel that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen will finally bring the issue to light in such a way that science fiction would often bring societal issues to light in both a tactful and abstract way, allowing the viewers to see overarching themes, and make the connections themselves without sounding preachy. One of the best examples of this sort would be the Star Trek TOS episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield". This episode showed its viewers that the irrational hatred of another man based solely on racial or ideological differences can quite literally tear the world apart, and that the only way we can truly progress is to get past these issues and work together in order for peace to flourish.

I commend Michael Bay and his team of writers to take this social parody to the next level - giant robots that turn into cars and planes fighting their ancient war in one of the oldest and most holy places on Earth...the Middle East. Now, in this blog you will see the role the Autobots and Decepticons had in the creation and perpetuation of this social and religious conflict and, by god, how they are going to end it.

After the supposed destruction of the Decepticon ruler Megatron, attempts were made to recover the Allspark, a cube that brings life to the cybernetic organisms. Used by Shia Labeouf's character Sam Witwicky to precipitate the demise of Megatron by inserting it into his chest, this electronic spark of genesis was broken apart and scattered, but not before bringing Sam's human and mental abilities to superhuman proportions. The pieces of the Allspark have been sought after not only by the United States government, but also by other nations, rouge states, and fundamentalist terror groups. They not only have great potential for power but religious symbolism as well. In the wrong hands, these piecesices could be potentially be used to create new cybernetic lifeforms whose minds are clean slates and ready for the social conditioning of the specific ideology of its creators.

But this was not the first time that the Allspark had been sought after... After the Transformers' bloody (or should I say oily?) and savage Beast Wars on ancient Earth, the two waring Cybertron parties began to live with different divisions of the fledgling human society. The humans began to worship their benevolent and despotic cybernetic cohabitants as gods, and began to build in their honor. Shaping the beginnings of established religions among these different enclaves of humans, they too took up the call to war against those that did not worship the same gods, or in this case, follow the same giant robots. It was decided that this conflict between the Autobots and Decepticons, in an extremely short and rare truce, would be taken elsewhere to allow the humans to build their own society. But the humans stuck to their religious beliefs formed by the presence of the Transformers.

However, in the Autobots' and Decepticons' haste to leave, the Allspark was left behind, and was used by several cultures' mystics, including the Egyptians, Jews, the Chinese and the Babylonians. The control of this sacred relic was fought over, and fell into the hands of several cultures, each wishing to produce it's own army of gollums. An army of cybernetic creatures, created from basic elements such as clay and stone, transformed into creatures to do the bidding of man.

The proof of the Allspark remains to this day in both ancient mysticism and in sculpture such as the larger than life statues in Egypt and with the Allspark's final human owner, the First Emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang. Under his tyrannical rule and efforts to keep China unified, he had commissioned an entire battle army to be sculpted so that when complete, he would unleash the power of the Allspark and become commander of the largest cybernetic army on the planet. It was then that several secret Autobot agents that remained on Earth decided it was time to interfere. Feeling they had no other choice, they assassinated the Emperor, and spirited away the Allspark to the North American continent where it would be safe housed by a people who wished no war or conquest, and lived with nature....the Native Americans.

Of course, the Decepticons had agents of their own hiding on ancient Earth, and fought the remaining Autobots after learning that they Allspark had been hidden. In this battle, the Decepticon discharged a quantum burst of cybernetic petrification just before he escaped and froze the remaining Autobot into the it's animal form amidst the desert sands of Egypt, where it stands to this day as the Sphinx. It is not until Sam Witwiki discovers his full potential that the Sphinx arises to save the Earth again!

Flash forward to present day... With the Allspark pieces in the hands of ancient enemies, the building of cybernetic armies begins anew. While peace talks continue to no real solution, each faction secretly builds up armies of unbelievable power and destruction. When the Decepticons learn of this, they secretly play on all factions, increasing the deadliness of these new cybernetic creatures with the hopes that the humans would annihilate themselves. The Autobots learn of these plots, and make a move to the ancient pyramids in hopes to find a solution in one of the ancient Autobot temples buried beneath the Sphinx.

As Sam and the Autobots dig, the newly built armies are prematurely woken in order to cause confusion and divert the Autobot's attention. On the surface, new factions calling themselves the Islamabots with their leader the Iatola Prime battle the new Zionistrons and their leader the Rabinitron. It is in some foolish stumbling around Sam accidentally falls upon the Sphinx left paw and the power he absorbed from the Allspark is fed directly into the ancient Autobot, and puts a final end to the conflict by emitting an anti-genesis energy wave, turning the brand new warring robots back into the stone sculptures they once were.

At the movie's conclusion, the Decepticons are again repelled, Megatron curses Starscream's name once again, and Optimus Prime delivers a lengthy monologue about how the human spirit will always triumph, good will always vanquish evil and how they must leave Earth to end the Decepticon's treachery once and for all.

Just before the screen fades to black, they do that pointless 360 helicopter shot around the Autobot gang atop the Great Pyramid Giza, with Meagan Fox's cleavage once again at the center.

The New Who!

As everyone on the Internet knows by now, Matt Smith has been selected to take up the mantle as the next Doctor when David Tennant makes his exit at the end of this year. He's a little younger, and a little gothier (is that a word?) He looks like a cast member of that vampire teen drama Twilight. But then again, I'm sure that's what they said about Peter Davidson when he took up the role after Tom Baker...except for the goth/twilight thing.

However, that does bring me to the first spoiler of my blog....THE FIRST EPISODE PLOT OUTLINE FOR SERIES 5 OF DOCTOR WHO!!!!!

Episode 1 - The Twilight Hours

Upon Regeneration, the now younger Doctor, rises from the post-stupor of regeneration and realizes he has no idea who or where he is. The TARDIS then materializes in the back parking lot of a 24 hour diner on a major thoroughfare of western Massachusetts late in the night.

The Doctor stumbles out of the TARDIS and walks into the diner, where he is immediately befriended by a gang of darkly dressed, slightly depressed, sexually repressed, and generally unimpressed lanky teenage boys and slightly overweight and overly dramatic girls. Not knowing any better, because of his amnesia, the new Doctor assumes that he is just part of the gang. He introduces himself as Johny, and over cup after cup of black coffee the gang share stories of their general distaste for high school, high school sports, high school teachers, high school classmates, high school principals, as well as parents, police, pop music, religion, corporate takeovers, and bad movie sequels.

The next part of the episode is a montage of the goth gang hanging out, playing Dungeons and Dragons, lighting candles, sleeping in basements, writing bad poetry, and a few clips of Johny falling in love with one of the girls with pink and black hair, facial piercings, black lipstick, an obvious eating disorder, and a penchant for corsets that are a bit too small.

The action escalates at a goth night club when the viewers see through the classic evil vision of an ancient and deadly enemy of the Time Lords lurking across the dance floor as it settles upon our naive and jovial Johny cutting a rug with his new girlfriend. This rather tall, pale and lanky bad guy is the last of an ancient race of vampires who once fought and lost to the Time Lords. After the vampire delivers a lengthy and metaphor driven monologue to a very confused Johny of how he was the sole survivor of this terrible war, the vampire boasted the fact that he recognized the foul stench of the Doctor and that he would finally have his revenge. The vampire picked up the Doctor, tossed him across the dance floor, grabbed the Doctor's new girlfriend, unfurled his bat wings and with much effort and strain, flew through the glass ceiling into the night.

Being knocked to the floor, the Doctor's memory returned, and enlisted the help of his new found friends to go save his girl in a most convoluted and complex plan filled with the classic witty banter we have all come to love about the Doctor.

At the Vampire's lair, the Doctor strolls into the darkness with the only illumination being the moon's light reflecting off the Doctor's new pale face. The rest of the gang cause a chain reaction of calamities, forcing the vampire and his new coven of teenage goths out into the open with the Doctor's new girlfriend in the center of this drama dangling over a vat of boiling blood. Without ruining this seen (because it is just too spectacular for words) the Doctor saves the girl, tricks the vampire into falling into his own trap, and escapes just in time to watch the entire neighborhood explode in fire and blood.

Back at the diner, the Doctor offers his new girlfriend the once in a life time chance to travel across time and space. She excepts, and the rest of the gang wave goodbye as the TARDIS dematerializes.

In the control room as the TARDIS whoops and saws, the new girlfriend sits on the floor writing in her journal as the Doctor realizes what a pain in the ass she might. He then jumps to the controls and shouts, "How would you like to see the largest black hole ever in existence?!"

The girl squeals with delight, the Doctor flips a few switches and the TARDIS doors fly open with a view of the largest black hole ever in existence. Her only words are, "It's so.....Black..."

The Doctor flips another switch, and the girl flies out the door like an untied balloon, as the Doctor mutters, "Not as black as your soul!" The doors slam shut, and the camera pans back to the console where you can see the t-shirt under the Doctor's sports coat which reads, "No Fat Chicks".