The New Who!

As everyone on the Internet knows by now, Matt Smith has been selected to take up the mantle as the next Doctor when David Tennant makes his exit at the end of this year. He's a little younger, and a little gothier (is that a word?) He looks like a cast member of that vampire teen drama Twilight. But then again, I'm sure that's what they said about Peter Davidson when he took up the role after Tom Baker...except for the goth/twilight thing.

However, that does bring me to the first spoiler of my blog....THE FIRST EPISODE PLOT OUTLINE FOR SERIES 5 OF DOCTOR WHO!!!!!

Episode 1 - The Twilight Hours

Upon Regeneration, the now younger Doctor, rises from the post-stupor of regeneration and realizes he has no idea who or where he is. The TARDIS then materializes in the back parking lot of a 24 hour diner on a major thoroughfare of western Massachusetts late in the night.

The Doctor stumbles out of the TARDIS and walks into the diner, where he is immediately befriended by a gang of darkly dressed, slightly depressed, sexually repressed, and generally unimpressed lanky teenage boys and slightly overweight and overly dramatic girls. Not knowing any better, because of his amnesia, the new Doctor assumes that he is just part of the gang. He introduces himself as Johny, and over cup after cup of black coffee the gang share stories of their general distaste for high school, high school sports, high school teachers, high school classmates, high school principals, as well as parents, police, pop music, religion, corporate takeovers, and bad movie sequels.

The next part of the episode is a montage of the goth gang hanging out, playing Dungeons and Dragons, lighting candles, sleeping in basements, writing bad poetry, and a few clips of Johny falling in love with one of the girls with pink and black hair, facial piercings, black lipstick, an obvious eating disorder, and a penchant for corsets that are a bit too small.

The action escalates at a goth night club when the viewers see through the classic evil vision of an ancient and deadly enemy of the Time Lords lurking across the dance floor as it settles upon our naive and jovial Johny cutting a rug with his new girlfriend. This rather tall, pale and lanky bad guy is the last of an ancient race of vampires who once fought and lost to the Time Lords. After the vampire delivers a lengthy and metaphor driven monologue to a very confused Johny of how he was the sole survivor of this terrible war, the vampire boasted the fact that he recognized the foul stench of the Doctor and that he would finally have his revenge. The vampire picked up the Doctor, tossed him across the dance floor, grabbed the Doctor's new girlfriend, unfurled his bat wings and with much effort and strain, flew through the glass ceiling into the night.

Being knocked to the floor, the Doctor's memory returned, and enlisted the help of his new found friends to go save his girl in a most convoluted and complex plan filled with the classic witty banter we have all come to love about the Doctor.

At the Vampire's lair, the Doctor strolls into the darkness with the only illumination being the moon's light reflecting off the Doctor's new pale face. The rest of the gang cause a chain reaction of calamities, forcing the vampire and his new coven of teenage goths out into the open with the Doctor's new girlfriend in the center of this drama dangling over a vat of boiling blood. Without ruining this seen (because it is just too spectacular for words) the Doctor saves the girl, tricks the vampire into falling into his own trap, and escapes just in time to watch the entire neighborhood explode in fire and blood.

Back at the diner, the Doctor offers his new girlfriend the once in a life time chance to travel across time and space. She excepts, and the rest of the gang wave goodbye as the TARDIS dematerializes.

In the control room as the TARDIS whoops and saws, the new girlfriend sits on the floor writing in her journal as the Doctor realizes what a pain in the ass she might. He then jumps to the controls and shouts, "How would you like to see the largest black hole ever in existence?!"

The girl squeals with delight, the Doctor flips a few switches and the TARDIS doors fly open with a view of the largest black hole ever in existence. Her only words are, "It's so.....Black..."

The Doctor flips another switch, and the girl flies out the door like an untied balloon, as the Doctor mutters, "Not as black as your soul!" The doors slam shut, and the camera pans back to the console where you can see the t-shirt under the Doctor's sports coat which reads, "No Fat Chicks".